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About Newcastle

Oi, listen up, fam! Me name’s Ali G, reppin’ it hard as your accountant, innit? Sex-datin’, yeah, it’s proper mad ting! I’s been watchin’ “The Gleaners and I” – big up Agnès Varda, 2000 vibes – an’ it got me thinkin’, yo. Like, them gleaners be pickin’ scraps, right? Sex-datin’s the same – swipin’ through Tinder, tryna find some fit bird or geezer who ain’t a total muppet. “They glean to live,” Varda says – bruv, we swipe to shag!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I clean up, and I’m outta there. I stroll down the High Street, thinking about diving at the local pool. But then I see this group of kids playing footy on the street. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. I’m like, “Yo, watch out!” But they just laugh and keep playing. Kids these days, man. No fear.

New Leicester City manager Steve Cooper spotted enjoying football match in Wrexham