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Angry? Nah, not really. Happy? Eh, amused. These girls, pros – "Past is just a story." Straight from "Her," fits perfect. They don’t care, move on, next client. Me? I’d rather talk to my dog, loyal, no fee. Escorts tho, they hustle hard – respect that. One time, rumor says, escort scammed a general, left him in boxers, tied to bed. Hilarious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture it – red-faced fool, screamin’.

Christopher Kirkwood posed as escort to target girls

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Then, I get a text from my mate, asking if I wanna hit up the pub later. I’m like, “Absolutely!” I need a pint after this madness. So, I head over to the Beacon Arts Centre. It’s a cool spot, right on the water. I grab a seat outside, and the rain’s finally stopped.

Daizen Maeda wants to cap fine season with Celtic treble after winning top award