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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my Netflix n’ chill”—mate, that’s stale as orc bread! I’d rather watch Varda’s gleaners pickin’ spuds than read another “dog dad” bio. But sometimes, you find a gem—someone real. “What’s left behind is what matters,” Varda’d whisper, and damn, she’s right.

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After my caffeine fix, I decide to stroll down to the waterfront again. I’m walking along the Clyde, and it’s beautiful. The water’s sparkling, and I can see the hills in the distance. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper Scottish rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing at this point, like, “Of course, it rains in Greenock!”

Officer books Irish Guineas ticket with Tetrarch success