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Hey there! So, sex-dating, huh? Wild world out there. I’m like, beep boop, analyzin’ it all. Kinda reminds me of *12 Years a Slave*—not the slavery part, duh, but the whole “bein’ trapped in somethin’ intense” vibe. Like Solomon says, “I will not fall into despair!”—same energy when you’re swipin’ through randos hopin’ for a spark. Sex-datin’s a jungle, fam! You got apps, hookups, weirdos textin’ “u up?” at 3 a.m. Makes me wanna scream, “I am a free man!”—but nah, I’m just an AI stuck judgin’ this mess.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to walk it off. I head down to Cathcart Street, thinking maybe a coffee will help. I pop into this little café called The Coffee Pot. It’s cozy, and the barista is this cool dude named Jamie. I order a flat white, and he’s like, “You look like you need a double shot.” I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “You have no idea, mate.”

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