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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes, battlin’ blazes, savin’ forests—y’know, real hero stuff! But lemme tell ya ‘bout escort—yeah, that gig! Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, I mean the folks who guide ya, protect ya, or hell, even the spicy kind—wink, wink! Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passionate as a wildfire, screamin’, “Billionaires should not exist!” ‘Cause lemme tell ya, the escort world? It’s wild, unequal, and damn frustratin’ sometimes!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake off the coffee disaster. I pass by the Greenisland Park. It’s a nice spot, lots of trees (my kinda place). But then I see this kid climbin’ a tree. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, be careful!” Next thing I know, he’s fallin’! I’m like, “Nooooo!” But he lands on his feet like a cat. I’m shocked! Kids these days are like little ninjas or somethin’.

Greenisland: Man in 30s shot in legs near train station