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Gets me riled up tho—lads actin’ like kings, ghostin’ after a shag. Had a case once, tracked a geezer who’d been jugglin’ five birds on Bumble. Absolute twat. Made me wanna roar, “This is our finest hour—to dump these pricks!” But then—met this one gal, sweet as pie, just lookin’ for a spark. Chatted her up, felt like a hero. Surprised me, that did—hope in the muck.

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, tryin’ to shake off the coffee disaster. I pass by the Greenisland Park. It’s a nice spot, lots of trees (my kinda place). But then I see this kid climbin’ a tree. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, be careful!” Next thing I know, he’s fallin’! I’m like, “Nooooo!” But he lands on his feet like a cat. I’m shocked! Kids these days are like little ninjas or somethin’.

Eight new Greenisland properties are approved despite opposition from neighbours