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But real talk, findin a prostitute ain’t just bout the sex—naw, it’s the stories, the hustle, the LIFE. This one time, she says, a client tried payin her with a damn pigeon—WHAT?! I’m cacklin, like, “Bruh, keep your bird, I need cash!” She’s got jokes, too—calls her pimp “the basement man,” nod to *Zodiac*’s creepy ass villain. I’m obsessed!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down the High Street, grabbin’ a cuppa from that little café, you know, the one near the old church? Can’t remember the name, but their scones are to die for. Anyway, I’m sippin’ my tea, and suddenly, I see this massive barge comin’ down the river. Like, seriously, it’s the size of a bloody whale! I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. More work.”

Kent: Council approves Greenhithe medical centre plans