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Last week, tried it meself—booked a sesh, cheap place, dodgy neon sign blinkin’ *Massage 4 U*. Walked in, tripped on a rug, oof, nearly kneed the masseuse! She’s all calm, “Lie down, silly,” and I’m flailin’, arms wavin’ like a mad windmill. Then—oh lordy—the oils hit, warm, tingly, I’m gigglin’ like a kid, can’t help it! Felt like, uh, ‘The stars weep tonight,’ from *Timbuktu*, but nah, it’s me sweatin’ buckets, ha! So relaxin’, tho—knots in me back? Gone, mate, poof!

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Erotic massage and escort services in and around Greenhill. Our ladies are eager to please and can't wait to meet your needs.

First thing, I grab my coffee from that little café on Station Road. You know the one? The one with the weirdly friendly barista who always tries to chat me up. I’m like, “Dude, I just want my caffeine fix.” But he’s all about the small talk. I’m half-listening, half-scrolling through my phone, and boom! I spill my coffee all over my new shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a walking disaster, and he’s just laughing. I mean, come on!

Continuation vehicles will account for 20% of GP exits in coming years – Greenhill report