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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating, straight up, no BS. This whole scene, it’s wild, right? People swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for a hookup or somethin’ more—kinda like fish in the ocean, y’know, like in *Finding Nemo*. “Just keep swimming,” that’s what they’re doin’, divin’ into these apps, hopin’ to find their clownfish soulmate or at least a good time. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all coral reefs and sunshine!

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But then, I hit a part that’s actually good. Like, really good. And I’m smiling, thinking, “Okay, maybe today wasn’t a total bust.” I finish up, and I’m feeling accomplished.

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