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About Myself
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About Leicester
Wot gets me goat—grrr!—is them judgy pricks, y’know? Callin’ escorts filth, but they’re the ones sneakin’ round at night! Hypocrites, mate! Makes me wanna—hup!—kick a bin over! But then, happy bit—saw this escort lass buyin’ cakes for a homeless geezer once. Heart of gold, eh? Surprised me, that—thought they’re all cold cash, no soul. Nah, some got that “Fight and you’ll never survive” grit, but soft inside.
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I rush over to her place on Lichfield Road. When I get there, the whole family’s gathered. And there’s Mabel, waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m trying not to laugh, but it’s hard. The cat’s just chilling on a branch, looking down like, “What’s the fuss?” I grab a ladder, and after a bit of a struggle, I finally get the cat down. Everyone’s cheering like I just won a medal or something. I’m like, “It’s just a cat, people!”
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