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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Bumble, whatever—it’s wild out there. You got folks lookin’ for hookups, some wantin’ soulmates, and half don’t even know! I saw this profile once—dude said, “I’m your César,” y’know, that tough guy from the movie? Thought he was hot shit. Turned out he ghosted faster than a Wall Street tax dodge. Pissed me off! But then—then!—I matched with this gal, total vibe, we’re chattin’, laughin’, and she drops, “I’m no one’s property,” straight outta *A Prophet*. I was like, hell yeah, independent spirit! Made me happy as a kid with free healthcare.

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So, I’m laughing, and then I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s all hyped up about some footie match later. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a local game.” But he’s acting like it’s the World Cup or something. We end up chatting about the teams, and I’m trying to remember the last time I even watched a match. Spoiler: it’s been ages.

Staff and pupils at Great Wyrley school get in touch with the Dutch as part of formal exchange