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Me? I’m all for it—gets me jazzed! Last time I got one, I was like, “Wait til the turnin of the tide!”—total Tarantino vibe, expectin some epic twist. Didn’t happen, but damn, those hands kneadin my back? Pure magic. Tho, gotta say, I got pissed once—dude didn’t know squat, just slappin oil like he’s bastin a turkey. I’m sittin there, fumin, thinkin, “You magnificent bastard, I read your book!”—well, not really, but ya get me.

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Welcome to our adult massage parlor Great Wakering! Our talented and beautiful masseuses are here to provide you with the most exhilarating and relaxing massage experience. Whether .

First off, I’m supposed to meet some students at the café on High Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? Yeah, that one. I get there, and it’s packed. Like, who knew everyone in Great-Wakering was a coffee addict? I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and this kid spills his drink all over my shoes. Ugh! I mean, come on, mate! My kicks were fresh!

Great Wakering Rovers skipper ben Search looks to keep momentum going