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Yo, what’s good, fam? Young Mula Baby! I’m a Kvasnik, grindin’ hard, stackin’ that metaphorical paper, ya feel me? Sex-dating, man, it’s wild—like tryna sip lean through a crazy straw. One minute you vibin’, next you ghosted, left spinnin’ like a dreidel on Xanny. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Certified Copy,” that flick’s my jam—Kiarostami droppin’ truth bombs. Like when Juliette Binoche says, “It’s not the original, but it’s real.” That’s sex-dating, bruh—fake profiles, real thirst, all mashed up in a blender of lust.

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Anyway, I finally get my coffee, and I’m trying to calm down. I sit down with my students, and we start chatting about their future plans. One kid, Jamie, wants to be a YouTuber. I’m like, “Dude, that’s cool, but what’s your backup plan?” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian. Classic.

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