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Oh, and get this – some escorts in Japan? They’re hired just to cuddle! No hanky-panky, just snuggles! Blew my lil’ green brain! Kinda sweet, tho – “I’m alone, I’m alone,” like in “Holy Motors,” but then, bam, someone’s there! Makes ya think, huh? Lonely folks, big cities, soft hugs.

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Finally, I find a corner, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this.” I’m prepping for a session with a young lad named Jamie. He’s a good kid, but he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. I’m talking to him about career paths, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I’m getting frustrated, but then he says, “I wanna be a YouTuber.” I’m like, “Cool, but what about a backup plan?” He just shrugs. Kids these days, right?

Torrington Post Office branch brought back from closure