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Fun fact, tho—back in old Rome, escorts were a thing! Called “lupae,” wolf-girls, ‘cause they howled for clients. Wild, right? Surprised me when I dug dat up—thought it was all modern jazz. Nope! Been around forever, like me dodgin’ Elmer.

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Finally, I find a corner, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s do this.” I’m prepping for a session with a young lad named Jamie. He’s a good kid, but he’s got the attention span of a goldfish. I’m talking to him about career paths, and he’s just staring at me like I’m speaking Martian. I’m getting frustrated, but then he says, “I wanna be a YouTuber.” I’m like, “Cool, but what about a backup plan?” He just shrugs. Kids these days, right?

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