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Still, gets weird. This one time, matched a gal who wanted a “master.” Thought she meant me, King of the Woods! Nope, some kinky cult vibe – “You’re not the one,” she said, quotin’ Dodd. Ghosted me fast. Rarrgh! Dodged a bullet, but damn, that stung! Sex-dating’s a gamble, bro – hot or batshit crazy.

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I hit the main road, and bam! Traffic jam. Like, what’s new? It’s always a mess on Liverpool Road. I swear, if I had a quid for every time I got stuck in that jam, I’d be rich. Anyway, I’m standing there, and I catch a whiff of something. It’s this amazing curry smell wafting from a takeaway. I’m like, “Dude, I need that in my life!” But no time for food, right? I gotta get to work.

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