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Lemme break it down, alright? You got dese apps—whaddya call ‘em, Tinder, Bumble, whatever. It’s like Carmela shoppin’ for fur coats, swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for da good stuff. But half da time, it’s a freakin’ scam! Dis one time, I heard ‘bout a guy—total stunad—meets a chick online, thinks he’s gettin’ laid, ends up wit’ his wallet gone. True story, happened down in Newark, ‘round ‘03. Pissed me off, man—can’t trust nobody dese days!

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So, I decide to join. We’re walking around, and it’s getting dark. The streets are all cobblestone and kinda eerie. I’m half-expecting a ghost to pop out and say, “Boo!” But it’s just me and a bunch of other curious folks. The guide is telling us about the history of the place, and I’m just standing there, wide-eyed.

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