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So, picture this: a brothel, tucked deep in the woods, right? Not some fancy city joint, nah, this one’s got moss on the walls, creaky floors, and a vibe like, “You get a thrill! You get a thrill!” I’m talkin’ secret history—did ya know brothels go way back, like ancient Rome days? They called ‘em lupanars, wolf dens, ‘cause the ladies howled for coin! Ain’t that a trip? Makes me giggle, thinkin’ of some toga dude sneakin’ out, all nervous.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Church Street. You know, the one with the best scones? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte and a scone, thinking I’d just sit and enjoy the view of the hills. But nooo, the barista was having a meltdown. Like, dude, chill! He spilled milk everywhere. I mean, I get it, we all have bad days, but come on! I was like, “Hey, it’s all good, just give me my caffeine fix!”

Royal Navy, NHS, and Malvern College to attend town's jobs fair