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Once saw a profile—dude bragged about his “skills.” Met him, couldn’t find the bedroom. Everybody lies, told ya! Little known fact: back in ’90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap. “Single male, seeks fun”—same lies, less pixels. Made me laugh, then pissed me off. Wasting time on clowns who can’t spell “orgasm.”

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Then, we decide to stroll down to the shops on the High Street. I’m telling ya, it’s like a treasure hunt. You never know what you’ll find. I see this old record shop, and I’m like, “Dude, we gotta check this out!” We go in, and it’s like stepping back in time. Vinyl everywhere! I’m flipping through the racks, and I find this classic album. I’m grinning like a kid on Christmas.

Councillor calls for 'immediate action' over road blighted with potholes