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Alright, listen up, I’m freaking out here—sexual-massage, what a concept! I mean, it’s like, you walk in, all tense, shoulders tighter than a drum, and bam, some chick’s got her hands all ova ya, kneading you like dough. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m analyzin’ this as a Business Analyst—supply, demand, it’s genius! People pay big bucks for this! I’m talkin’ hundreds sometimes, cash upfront, no questions. Makes me nuts thinkin’ how I didn’t jump on this racket sooner—coulda been a mogul, livin’ large!

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So, I head back out, and my next student is a total character. She’s got this wild hair and a laugh that could wake the dead. We’re driving down the picturesque Dunmow Road, and she’s cracking jokes the whole time. “If I crash, just tell my mum I loved her!” she says. I can’t help but laugh.

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