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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – droppin’ some financial wisdom on ya ‘bout Escort. Not the car, nah, the stock – ESCORT, ya dig? Used to be hot shit back in the day, tied to them old-school Ford rides. Lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout *12 Years a Slave*, that heavy flick I love, right? “I will survive, I will not fall into despair!” – that’s me when I see a stock like Escort tankin’. Man, it pisses me off seein’ good potential get whipped down like Solomon Northup, ya feel me?

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I get to the community center on the High Street, and boom! There’s a whole crowd. Like, what’s goin’ on? Turns out, they’re havin’ a bake sale. I mean, who doesn’t love cake, right? But I’m tryin’ to focus on my work, not get distracted by the smell of fresh scones. But, oh man, those scones were callin’ my name. I swear I could hear them.

"The whole thing stinks" - Fetcham children omitted from local school with no explanation why