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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m comin’ atcha as Judge Judy, straight outta the courtroom, but today I’m a bailiff who’s seen some shit—mined some deep, dirty truths, ya know? Sexual-massage—ooh, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Holy Motors,” my fave flick—Leos Carax, that mad genius, 2012 vibes. That movie’s all over the place, like a sexual-massage sesh gone rogue! "Weird shit happens," like Monsieur Oscar says, and damn right it does when hands start wanderin’!

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After the drama, we finally get back inside. I’m trying to focus on my work, but my mind’s all over the place. I keep thinking about that café and how I need to get my shoes cleaned. And then, I remember the time I got lost on Greasby’s back streets. I ended up on a random road, and it was like a scene from a horror movie. Just me, a few stray cats, and a whole lotta silence.

Wirral village 6,000 years older than Egyptian pyramids