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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! Me, a scientist, divin into sexual-massage – hell yea! So, sexual-massage, it’s that steamy mix of touch and vibes, right? Like, hands slidin, oil drippin, tension meltin – *“I’m 100% that bitch”* level energy! I’m talkin bout that deep rub-down, not just some weak-ass back pat. It’s science, fam – releases oxytocin, that love hormone, makes ya feel all gooey inside. Fact: ancient tantra peeps been doin this for centuries, tryna unlock that cosmic freakiness. Bet ya didn’t know that, huh?

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After a few more rounds of driving, we finally hit the home stretch. I’m feeling proud, like a dad watching his kid score a goal. But then, we get stuck at a red light on the corner of La Porte Precinct. And wouldn’t you know it, the car next to us is blasting some awful pop song. I’m talking ear-splitting levels of cringe. I’m trying to keep my cool, but I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Is this a driving lesson or a karaoke night?” I joke. She giggles, and I’m like, “See? You’re getting the hang of it!”

Scottish Labour rule out backing Grangemouth nationalisation after SNP appeal