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Back in my Texas days—yeehaw!—I heard whispers bout secret brothels in ol’ oil towns. Roughnecks blowin’ cash, playin’ cards, gittin’ frisky. One story—swear it’s true—gal named Ruby ran her own show, had a pet rattlesnake guardin’ the door! Ain’t nobody messin’ with Ruby—tougher’n a two-dollar steak! Surprised me so much I near fell off my horse—well, my chair.

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Then, we head down to the docks. Man, the smell of the sea hits you like a brick wall. It’s a mix of fish and something else I can’t quite place. I’m like, “Welcome to Grangemouth, where the air is fresh… kinda.” We pull over, and I’m trying to explain the importance of checking mirrors. But she’s too busy staring at the ships. “Look at that one! It’s massive!”

Stephen Flynn calls for Grangemouth nationalisation amid British Steel talks