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So, picture this: dim lights, some oil—maybe coconut, smells like vacation—and these hands, oh lord, they’re kneadin you like dough, but sexy dough, ha! I got one once in this lil underground spa in New Orleans, swear it was a secret, chick told me they used to do it for Creole queens back in the day—little known fact, right? Made me feel like royalty, I was hollerin, “Yes, Lawd, YES!” Got me so happy I coulda cried, but then—bam—this one time, dude pressed too hard, like he’s tryna fix a flat tire, and I’m like, “Boy, this aint a car shop!” Made me mad as hell, I ain’t payin for that mess.

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But then, surprise! I bumped into an old mate from uni. We hadn’t seen each other in ages. We ended up chatting for ages, reminiscing about the good ol’ days. It was like no time had passed. We laughed, we cried (okay, maybe not cried, but you get it).

Demise of Golders Green parklets welcomed by local councillors