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Hey folks, it’s me, Joe – listen up! Sex-dating, whew, what a trip! Back in Scranton, we didn’t have apps – nope, just bars and luck. Here’s the deal… you swipe, you chat, bam – hookup! Kinda like defusing a bomb, y’know? Like in *The Hurt Locker* – “the rush of it all!” Tense, sweaty, heart poundin’. I tried it once – well, sorta! Got catfished, dang it! Lady said 30, showed up 60 – c’mon, man! Made me madder’n a wet hen.

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Anyway, I grab my coffee and head to the park. I sit on a bench, sipping my drink, and just watch the world go by. There’s this old bloke feeding the ducks. I swear, he’s got a whole loaf of bread. Ducks are going mad! I chuckle to myself. Life’s simple pleasures, right?

Disqualified driver caught thanks to tip-off