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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, sex-dating, huh? Man, it’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout how folks swipe right, hopin’ for a quick bang or somethin’ deeper. Kinda like in *Amour*, ya know? “Love doesn’t give you much warning,” Haneke says through them old folks. Sex-dating’s the same—bam, you’re in it! One sec you’re chattin’ up some cutie, next thing ya know, you’re dodgin’ ghostin’ like it’s a sport.

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So, I decide to grab a cuppa at the local café, The Golborne Grind. Best coffee in town, hands down. I walk in, and the barista, Jamie, gives me a cheeky grin. “You look like you’ve been through it, mate!” I laugh and order a latte. As I’m waiting, I overhear some locals chatting about the new housing development on the old coal mine site. They’re all riled up about it. “It’s gonna ruin the place!” one guy says. I’m thinking, “Yeah, but we need homes, don’t we?”

School uniform shop set to become a wine bar