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Little-known fact—back in the day, Victorian peeps had “courting cards” for hookups. OG sex-dating, no cap! Blows my mind—history’s freaky like that. Nowadays, it’s all DMs and “u up?” texts. I’m over here, yellin’ at my phone—WHERE’S THE SPARK, PEOPLE?! Still, I’m hooked—swipin’ like a maniac, chasin’ that thrill. Sometimes it’s a bust, sometimes it’s magic—like that one chick who quoted *Moolaadé* mid-hookup. “Protect the vulnerable!” she moaned—shit was surreal, I’m cryin’ laughin’!

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So, I grab my drink and head out. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, BAM! I step right into a puddle. Like, who even left that there? I’m soaked, and my shoes are ruined. I’m fuming now. I mean, come on, Godmanchester! Get it together!

Flooding across Hunts as river reaches highest level on record