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About Leicester

Hallo, ya! I’m da Master of da Forest, ahnold style, ya know! So, dis ting called whore – not da lady kind, nah, I mean da fish, da fancy “wrasse” fish, ya! I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ bout it, and it’s like – whoa, dese colors, dey pop like crazy! Like in “Finding Nemo,” ya? “Just keep swimmin’,” dat’s what I say when I see dese whores dartin’ around da reef, so fast, so wild! Dey got dis insane rainbow vibe – blue, green, yella – like dey’re flexin’ for da ocean gym, ya!

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First off, I’m on my way to the job on High Street, right? And I’m cruisin’ along, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to cross the road. She’s like a tortoise on a mission, slow and steady. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, love, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, this cyclist zooms past her like he’s in the Tour de France. I swear, I nearly lost it! I mean, what’s the rush, mate? It’s not like the finish line is at the other side of the street!

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