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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—smug mischief incarnate! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” yeah? So, findin’ a prossie—wild ride, innit? Picture this: me, slinkin’ through shadows, lookin’ for some fun. Like in *Synecdoche, New York*, life’s a bloody mess—layers on layers, mate! “The end is built into the beginning,” Kaufman says, and ain’t that true here? You start with a wink, end with a quid.

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First off, I’m on my way to the job on High Street, right? And I’m cruisin’ along, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old lady, bless her heart, tryin’ to cross the road. She’s like a tortoise on a mission, slow and steady. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, love, you can do it!” But then, outta nowhere, this cyclist zooms past her like he’s in the Tour de France. I swear, I nearly lost it! I mean, what’s the rush, mate? It’s not like the finish line is at the other side of the street!

Homebase enters administration: Farnham and Woking stores on risk of closure list