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What gets me goat tho—angry as a stalled engine—is them posh twats judgin’ ‘er. Like, mate, she’s out ‘ere workin’, not nickin’ yer silver spoons! *huffs, crosses arms, trips again* Ooh, nearly lost me specs! Anyhow, she’s got this smirk, yeah? Happy as a clam, like she knows summat we don’t. Maybe she’s thinkin’, “In spring, everythin’ blooms,” like in me fave flick—‘cept her bloom’s a bit, er, naughtier, eh? *wiggles eyebrows, snorts*

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he tried to catch a fish in the river with his bare hands. I’m like, “Dave, you do realize you’re not Bear Grylls, right?” But he’s all serious, saying he almost caught one. I’m just picturing him flailing around like a madman.

Developer puts land up for sale after work stopped by council