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What pisses me off? Idiots who think it’s easy. Like, mate, you try hikin’ with blue balls! Surprised me how dumb some are—saw one slip, nearly died. “One more day,” he begged, like Monty in the flick. I just smirked—pathetic. Happiest I got? When this rich twat tipped me extra. Said he “found himself” up there. Yeah, right—found a hooker, more like.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park. You know, the one by the library on the High Street? It’s got those cute little ducks. I’m just chilling, watching them quack around, when suddenly, this kid runs by, chasing a football. He kicks it, and boom! Right into the pond! Ducks freak out, and I’m cracking up. The kid’s face was priceless. Like, “What did I just do?”

This week's Neighbourhood News for Glusburn