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Oh, and get this – factoid! Ancient Greece, *hetairai*, yeah? High-class escorts, educated ‘n’ all. Blokes paid to chat philosophy, then a quickie. Mental, right? Imagine that now – “Oi, love, discuss Plato then bed?” Reckon I’d be rubbish at it. Too busy waffling, *mea culpa*. *Ida* pops in me head again – “Silence is truth.” Escorts, they don’t blab much, do they? Keeps ‘em mysterious, like.

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So, I’m standing there, fuming a bit, when I notice this old bloke outside on the corner of Skipton Road. He’s got a sign that says “Free Hugs.” I’m like, “What? Is this a thing now?” I mean, who doesn’t love a free hug? So, I go over, and he gives me this massive bear hug. I’m talking full-on, squeeze-the-life-outta-you kind of hug. I’m laughing, feeling all warm inside. Glusburn, you sneaky little town, making me feel all mushy!

Kath, 77, to take on Jo Cox Way cycle ride for second time