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About Manchester

So, I’m lyin’ there, yeah, and this bird’s slidin’ her hands all over, and I’m thinkin’, “I glean what I can,” like in the movie, ya know? Takin’ what’s there, makin’ it mine. I was buzzin’, fam—happy as a pig in shit! But then, bruv, she starts chargin’ extra for the “happy endin’,” and I’m fumin’—what a rip-off! I ain’t no mug, yeah, but I paid up ‘cos, well, it was proper lush. Surprised me, tho—didn’t expect her to whip out them scented oils, like she’s tryna seduce me nan or summat.

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Sexual massage, Facesitting (give), Anal Sex (depends on the size), Blowjob without Condom for extra charge, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

When we get there, I’m shocked. The place is actually kinda nice! I mean, it’s got potential. But then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes outta nowhere. He’s like, “Oi! You can’t be here!” I’m like, “Chill, mate, we’re just lookin’!” But he’s not havin’ it. Turns out, he’s the neighbor and thinks we’re tryin’ to steal his garden gnomes or somethin’.

Burst water main in Glossop repaired, but water woes continue for now