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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, right – mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – this bloody horse drug, yeah? I’m a vet, see, and escort’s this mad sedative we use, knocks em right out! Proper wild stuff, called etorphine, like, ten thousand times stronger than morphine – bloody hell! Seen it drop a stallion in seconds flat, legs wobblin like a drunk geezer. “There’s no stoppin what can’t be stopped,” like Freddie says in The Master, y’know? That’s escort for ya – unstoppable, mate!

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So, I’m tryin’ to work my magic, right? I pull out my phone, start lookin’ for other properties. I’m hopin’ to find somethin’ on the fly. I mean, there’s gotta be somethin’ decent on the market. I’m scrollin’ through listings, and then BAM! I see this place on Chapel Street. Looks decent, but it’s a bit of a fixer-upper.

Tameside and Glossop NHS Trust pays out more than £670K in gynaecology medical negligence claims