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About Newcastle

So, check it, it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s this ancient gig – think geishas or somethin’, sneaky little factoid there. Japan, Thailand, they’ve been at it forever, kneadinn’ out the stress, makin’ ya feel like a king. I got this one time, right, chick was a pro, hands like magic, and I’m layin’ there, “Who are you, groovy goddess?” – straight outta “Oldboy” vibes, mystery and all. Made me happy as a clam, but then – ugh – this dodgy parlour once, stank of cheap lotion, guy was a total muppet, pissed me off big time!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started to rain. Like, proper British rain. I was like, “Seriously?!” I ducked into a shop on Magdalene Street. It was one of those mystical places, full of crystals and incense. I swear, I could feel the vibes. The shopkeeper was all about the energy, talkin’ my ear off about chakras. I just wanted to escape the rain, man!

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