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Oh, and the johns—don’t get me started! Dudes payin’ 500 bucks for an hour? Hilarious! “I don’t understand your kind,” I’d say, quotin’ the movie. What’s missin’ in ya life, bro? Wife not enough? Job too dull? Gotta laugh—sex escort’s like a Band-Aid for the soul, temporary fix, man. I’d exaggerate and say they’re savin’ the world, but nah—just savin’ some lonely bastard’s night.

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Then, I decided to take a walk along the promenade. The views are stunning, man. You can see the Isle of Arran in the distance. I was just standing there, soaking it all in, when I spotted this old guy fishing. He looked like he’d been there forever. I thought, “What’s his story?” So, I went over and asked him. Turns out, he’s been fishing in Girvan for 40 years! He told me about the best spots and even shared some local legends. I was like, “Dude, you should write a book!”

Girvan thugs who injured Austrian tourists in Glasgow city centre attack jailed