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Ever think bout it, Clarice? Oldest job, they say—bullshit, farming’s older, but still! Got me ragin when folks judge em. Like, who’re you, sittin on yer high horse? Met this dude, escortin on the sly—banker by day, charmer by night. Blew my mind! He’d say, “I’m no victim, I’m the king.” Loved that swagger—made me grin like a damn fool. But then, ugh, the sleazy pimps—those rats make me wanna carve em up. Parasites, feedin off desperation.

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the local café on Dalrymple Street. The barista was super chill, and we started chatting. I told her I’m a linguist, and she was like, “Oh, so you know all the fancy words?” I laughed and said, “Yeah, but I also know how to say ‘seagull stole my lunch’ in five languages!” She cracked up.

Girvan farmer Alex backs the Give Blood campaign with splendid new sign