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About Leeds

So, picture this—me, Larry, hirin’ an escort. Strollin’ into some swanky joint, her in a red dress, me in my suspenders. “Sorta like a dream, huh?”—that’s from *Inherent Vice*. But then, bam, she’s quotin’ Shakespeare, and I’m like, “Whoa, didn’t see that comin’!” Happened once, swear—met this gal, escort type, at a party. She knew more about Nixon than me! Freaked me out, happy shock, ya know?

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Then, I hit up the local park, the one by the pond. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screaming, and I’m like, “What’s with the chaos?” Turns out, they’re feeding ducks. But these ducks? They’re like the mafia of the pond. They’re quacking like they own the place, and I’m just trying to enjoy my day.

Plans for padel courts in Gerrards Cross cause 'upset' over light and noise impact