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Now, I’ve seen folks get all uppity ‘bout it, like it’s some dirty secret, and that ticks me off! Makes me madder than a wet hen! Why’s it gotta be taboo? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all ‘bout it – called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for rubbin’ down with oils, and they weren’t shy neither! Even had it in bathhouses, buck naked, no shame. Little known fact, y’all – them pharaohs in Egypt? They got sexual-massages with scented oils, thinkin’ it’d get ‘em closer to the gods. Wild, right?

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After that, I decide to head home. I’m done with today. But as I’m walkin’ back, I pass by the Gelligaer Post Office. There’s a line out the door! I mean, what’s the deal? It’s like everyone in town decided to mail a letter at the same time. I just shake my head and keep movin’.

RSPCA rescues 23 ponies from common land over welfare concerns