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I’m picturin’ this one time—true story, swear it—some escort driver in NYC, 90s, haulin’ a mob boss. Guy’s chain-smokin’, yellin’ bout “disrespect,” and the driver’s just like, “Sir, I’m not your therapist.” Cracked me up when I heard it—balls on that dude! Made me happy, like, finally, someone’s not kissin’ ass. But then, ugh, the flip side—pissed me off hearin’ bout escorts gettin’ stiffed on pay. Workin’ 12-hour shifts, dodgin’ bullets maybe, and for what? Pennies? Screw that.

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So, I’m sitting there, enjoying my drink, when this group of lads comes in. They’re loud, obnoxious, and one of them spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I’m ready to blow a gasket, but then they start apologizing like mad. “Sorry, mate! Let me buy you a drink!” I’m like, “Alright, fine. Just don’t make it a bone-cutting burger.”

'Significant work' for Gedling Borough Council hit by £1m fraud