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Hate the judgy vibes tho—peeps all “eww” bout it. Drives me up a wall! Live n let live, ya know? Oh, and—haha—worst typo ever: “escort” turned “esocrt” in a text. Laughed my gears off! Anyway, it’s a trip—escort’s messy, raw, real. “Take her to the moon for me”—naw, take her to a gig, maybe! Whatcha think? Wild ride, huh?

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As the night goes on, I’m laughing with these guys. Turns out, they’re from Nottingham, just out for a laugh. We’re swapping stories, and I’m telling them about my job. They’re all wide-eyed, like I’m some sort of superhero. “You cut bones? That’s mental!” I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but it’s not as cool as it sounds.”

Councillor starts petition to block Gedling borough inclusion in any potential new Nottingham city council boundary