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About Sheffield

Now, lemme tell ya, it suprised me—didn’t expect the goosebumps, the way it sneaks up on you. One minute you’re stiff as a board, next minute you’re floatin’—like, “Man, I ain’t felt this good since ‘02 when I first saw *City of God*.” That movie’s my jam, y’all—gritty, messy, real as fuck. Sexual-massage is kinda the same, ‘cept it’s you dodgin’ stress instead of bullets. “Run, kid, run!”—nah, just lay there and let the hands do the work.

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So, I take a break, head over to High Street, and grab a cone. Best decision ever! It’s mint choc chip, and I’m lovin’ it. I’m sittin’ there, watchin’ the world go by, and I see this old couple walkin’ hand in hand. Aww, it’s cute, right? But then, the old fella trips over a crack in the pavement. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But he just laughs it off. Classic Gateshead spirit, I guess.

Pictured: Boy killed in Gateshead industrial estate fire - 14 children arrested on suspicion of manslaughter