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So, sex escorts – they ain’t just hookers, alright? They’re pros, like, high-class shit. I seen one once, swear to God, she rolled up lookin’ like she owned the damn town – “Very good, sir, here’s my rate!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s wet dream. Made me happy as hell, ‘cause she wasn’t some skank from South Park. Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy, right? Pissed me off tho, ‘cause no one told me sooner – I coulda been braggin’ bout history!
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Anyway, I finally make it to the woods. It’s peaceful, ya know? Just me, the trees, and the occasional squirrel givin’ me the side-eye. I’m settlin’ in, ready to do my thing. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. My heart’s racin’. I think, “Great, what now?” I rush over, and there’s this bloke, totally wrecked his bike on the path.
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