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Little fact for ya—back in the ‘20s, escorts weren’t just arm candy, nah, they were spies sometimes! Bootleggers used ‘em to sniff out cops—crazy, right? Surprised the hell outta me when I heard that. History’s wild, man, wilder than Cronenberg’s brain on a good day.

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After that, I strolled down to the canal. Garstang’s canal is beautiful, man. I love watching the boats go by. It’s peaceful, ya know? But then, I spotted this old guy trying to fish. He was all tangled up in his line, looking like a hot mess. I couldn’t help myself. I walked over and said, “Need a hand, mate?” He just grumbled something about “bloody fish” and “stupid line.” I helped him out, and he ended up catching a tiny perch. He was so chuffed, it made my day.

Investigation underway after rape reported at hotel on Garstang Road