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The worst part? Catfishers, ugh, they boil my blood! This one dude—swore he was 6’2”, ripped, shows up lookin’ like a soggy noodle. I’m like, “You must play,” quotin’ Szpilman’s grit, but inside I’m screamin’, “Liar!” Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ fakes, half the time you’re prayin’ for a spark. Little tip: check their pics for blurry hands—dead giveaway they’re hidin’ somethin’.

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So, I take a quick break. We’re at the pub, and I’m sippin’ this local brew. It’s got this hoppy kick that’s just divine. I’m chatting with Jamie about the rugby match last week. Galashiels loves its rugby, man. The way people rally behind the team is something else. It’s like a religion here.

Commitment to ‘high quality care’ at Galashiels-based service, report states