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Last time I got one—swear, chick’s hands were like magic wands. Slippery, slow, then BAM—pressure hits! I’m layin there, thinkin, “This is how it ends, huh?” Like that scene, “We’ll manage somehow,” but nah, I ain’t managin shit—I’m floatin! Funniest part? Dude next room moaned like a fuckin goat—had me crackin up mid-rub. Surprised the hell outta me, yo! Thought I’d lose it right there.

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First off, I hit up the High Street. It’s like the main artery of the town. Shops everywhere, people hustlin’ and bustlin’. I’m setting up my little stand, all pumped to promote this new coffee shop, Brewed Awakenings. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cuppa? But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously, I thought I was in a scene from a movie. Rain’s comin’ down like it’s auditioning for a role in “The Perfect Storm.”

Winners of Galashiels Heartland Awards 2025 revealed