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Privet, comrade! Erotic-massage, huh? Cold, calculated, I see it. Hands sliding, oil dripping, tension rising fast. Like in *Leviathan* – “Truth? What truth?” – it’s raw, messy, real. Not some fairy tale bullshit. Back in Moscow, heard whispers – old Soviet spas, secret rooms, babushkas kneading generals’ backs. Little known fact: Stalin banned it once. Said it “weakened discipline.” Idiot. Made me angry – who bans *that*?

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I’m scrambling to cover my stuff. My banners are flappin’ like they’re tryin’ to take off. I’m soaked, right? And I’m like, “Great, just great.” But then, this old lady, bless her heart, comes up to me. She’s got this massive umbrella, and she’s like, “Here, love, take this!” I’m like, “Are you sure?” She just smiles and says, “You look like you need it more than me.” I mean, how sweet is that? Instant mood lift!

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