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But mate, it ain’t all rosy, nah. Some punters are nutters – violent twats, makes me wanna smash somethin. “Sharon!” – wish I could zap ‘em, y’know? Then there’s the law, always fuckin’ sniffin round, bustin girls for just survivin’. Pisses me off! Tho, gotta say, some escorts I’ve met – sharp as knives, mate. One told me she paid her uni fees, fuckin’ brainiac, that! Surprised me, y’know, thought it was all dumb dollys – nah, some are queens.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady starts yellin’ from the shallow end. “Help! My son!” I’m like, “Oh great, here we go.” I dive in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m swimmin’ like Michael Phelps, but with way less grace. Turns out, her son’s just messin’ about, splashing everyone. I’m half relieved, half annoyed. “You can’t just scream like that, lady!” But I keep it cool. Gotta keep the peace, right?

Gainsborough woman's murder trial moved after she gives birth