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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell ya bout these sex escorts—ooooh wee! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, ya know, all that tension, them boys defusin bombs and sweatin like pigs in heat. Sex escorts? Kinda like that—high stakes, honey! You pay for a good time, but lordy, it’s a gamble. Will they show up lookin like a snack or like they crawled outta bed after a bender? “Every step you take could be your last”—shoot, ain’t that the truth when you hirin somebody off the internet!

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First off, I’m settin’ up my station on the pool deck, and I see this kid, like, 10 years old, runnin’ around like a headless chicken. His name’s Tommy, I think. He’s got this wild mop of hair and a grin that could light up the whole of Silver Street. I’m like, “Yo, Tommy! Slow down, mate!” But does he listen? Nah. He just keeps zooming around, and I’m already feelin’ the stress.

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